Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize