How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
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