I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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