How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
