You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
