We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
