she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
