butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Mom said you looked used
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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