this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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