its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
