I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
