and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize