Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
