Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty