I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Your shirt... Was in my pants
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim