I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
