And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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