i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
