the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
