Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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