Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
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In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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