problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
