If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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