i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
