i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I had to cum in my sink.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
