So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
