If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I have post one night stand depression
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