so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You're a waste of cheezeits
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
