I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
