Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
