You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
