Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
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