I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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