I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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