He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
