Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
