is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
