Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
