I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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