there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
