We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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