Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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