I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
