Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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