I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
