Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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