Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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