That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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