You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
it's great music for shaving your balls
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm too high and old for this...
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
