I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
