i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
