he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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