Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
