Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
