I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
