I saw his package. It spoke to me.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
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Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
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When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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