In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
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And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
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And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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