you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
