Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
