I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
