I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
