wat bout pragnant strippers??
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize