i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Randomize
