im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
